A J.U.M.P. (Journey of the Underdog Making Progress) Guide for Queens Who Refuse to Give Up on Themselves

Introduction: Queen, Let’s Tell the Truth About Reinvention After 40

Let’s get real for a moment, Queen. Reinvention in your 40s isn't like the cute, inspirational TikTok videos it keeps feeding us. It’s not you standing in the sun, eyes closed, manifesting while the wind gently blows your wig or your twist-out. It’s not candles and vision boards and spa days (although all of that is nice).

Reinvention at this age looks like:

• Writing discussion posts at midnight while your teenager asks why you didn’t buy more snacks.

• Studying for exams between drop-offs, meetings, and “Mom, can you sign this?”

• Crying in the bathroom after your supervisor gives you feedback that you KNOW is for your growth but still stings.

• Trying to level up your career while also remembering someone’s permission slip, someone else’s practice schedule, and your own next doctor’s appointment.

• Becoming who you said you wanted to be while still feeding people, coaching people, supporting people, wiping down surfaces, and somehow dealing with your own emotions.

And let’s really talk about the emotions, because at 40+, the emotional blockers hit different. Fear hits different. Self-doubt hits different. Feeling “behind” hits different. Even success hits different.

But here’s what’s even more real: You’re not starting over. You’re rising from everything you’ve already survived.

And according to research published in The Journal of Women & Aging, women over 40 who pursue new education or major career changes while actively caregiving report feeling “fragmented yet more authentic than ever” (Smith, 2020).

Fragmented yet authentic.Worn out yet brave.Unsure yet, moving anyway.

Sound familiar?

Good. Because that means you’re already on your J.U.M.P.—your Journey of the Underdog Making Progress.

Reinvention is not a fairy tale. It's an obstacle course. And today, I’m walking you through five powerful, practical strategies to set goals and stay focused—even when life keeps life-ing.

1. Think Positive (But Not in That Cheesy, Toxic Positivity Way)

Let’s be clear: “Think positive” doesn’t mean pretending things are fine when they are NOT fine. It doesn’t mean forcing gratitude when what you really need is a nap, a prayer, and a moment of silence.

Real positive thinking—the kind that works for grown women with kids, jobs, trauma histories, and dreams—is about believing THIS truth: Giving up costs more than pushing forward.

When you quit mid-journey, you don’t start over…You start from pain—from disappointment, from self-blame, from exhaustion.

According to a longitudinal study in the Journal of Adult Development (Bianchi, 2019), midlife women who maintain a future-focused mindset—even when overwhelmed—report significantly lower emotional burnout and higher life satisfaction.

Translation: Your mindset matters more than your circumstances. Your thoughts influence your stamina. Your belief shapes your outcomes.

So when fear whispers, “You can’t do this,” you answer: “Watch me.”

2. Keep a Clear, Open, and Tension-Free Mind (As Much As Humanly Possible)

I know, I know. You’re thinking: A tension-free mind? Where? How? When?

Because between your job, your kids, your partner, your bills, your classes, your health, your emotions, your deadlines, and your dreams… your mind is anything BUT tension-free.

But here’s the secret, Queen: You don’t need a tension-free LIFE. You need tension-free MOMENTS. Spaces where your brain can breathe and receive new ideas.

This is the mental softness where clarity and creativity return.

For women 40+, cognitive research shows that even 10 minutes of mindfulness or mental rest can improve emotional regulation and problem-solving (Greeson & Brantley, 2021).

Ten minutes.Before the emails.Before the kids wake up.Before the overwhelm kicks in.

Goal setting requires clarity. Clarity requires space. And space is something you must create—even if in small pockets—because nobody is handing it to us.

3. Persist and Persevere (Even When You’re Tired of Having to Be “Strong”)

Let me tell you something nobody admits publicly: Sometimes, perseverance feels personal. Sometimes it feels like the universe keeps sending you lessons you never asked for .Sometimes you’re tired of being the resilient one, the one who adjusts, the one who carries, the one who pushes through.

But hear me: Perseverance isn’t about strength—it’s about strategy.

When you’re pursuing reinvention in your 40s, everything takes longer:

• Energy is different.

• Responsibilities are heavier.

• Time feels shorter.

• The stakes feel higher.

But persistence doesn’t mean being superwoman. It means being committed. It means working on your goals in pieces. It means refusing to abandon yourself.

And if you’ve survived everything before 40? You can survive the stretch required for what you want after 40.

4. Simulate the Future (Visualization for Queens in the Real World)

Visualization is not just spiritual—it’s psychological. It’s neurological. It’s how your brain rehearses success before you get there.

Picture the woman you’re becoming: Her schedule. Her income.Her energy.Her boundaries.Her confidence.Her peace.

Now work backwards.

This is how you start creating a roadmap. This is how you make decisions aligned with your future, not your fears.

Elite athletes visualize to increase performance. Therapists use visualization to help clients reduce anxiety and build self-efficacy.

Queen, you can use it to reinforce your reinvention. See the outcome so clearly that the obstacles become temporary inconveniences, not dead ends.

5. Ask for Help (You Were Never Meant to Do Life Alone)

Let me tell you the truth, we don’t say out loud: Many of us struggle because we’re trying to reinvent ourselves in secret.

We don’t want people to think:

• We’re struggling.

• We’re behind.

• We can’t handle it all.

• We’re not as strong as we pretend to be.

But here’s the thing—Asking for help isn’t a weakness. It’s a strategy.

Whether it’s:

• Asking your kids to take on more responsibilities

• Asking your supervisor for guidance

• Asking a friend to listen

• Asking a therapist for support

• Asking God for direction

• Asking a mentor for clarity

Reinvention requires community. Even the most powerful Queens need someone in their corner.

My Add: A 40+ Mom in Her Final Year of Grad School — What Reinvention Looks Like in Real Life

Queen, let me tell you what this journey REALLY feels like. Unfiltered. Unedited. Un-Instagrammable.

Last week, I walked into my practicum class—my very first one. I’m almost 50 .I’m a mother of teenage sons. I’ve been a case manager for over 20 years.

And yet, standing there in that room, I felt like the newest student on Earth.

My therapist-professor looks at me and says, “Good and fine are NOT feelings. Name what you actually feel.”

In that moment, every mask I’ve worn for decades cracked a little. You know what I felt?

Terrified.Proud.Exhausted.Alive.

This is reinvention. Not the polished version—The real one.

It’s honoring your father’s 10th death anniversary while becoming the counselor he always knew you could be.

It’s watching your 17-year-old march in his last Memorial Day parade and realizing…he’s growing into his life at the same time you’re reinventing yours.

It’s having Dawn Staley sign your book one day and crying over practicum homework the next.

It’s someone flying in from California to jump rope with you for 10 minutes and realizing your journey is inspiring others simply because you didn’t quit.

According to research in the Journal of Women & Aging, women in midlife who take on new roles—student, entrepreneur, leader—report higher resilience and stronger identity clarity than in their younger years (Smith, 2020).

That’s us. Fragmented yet authentic.Tired yet determined. Scared yet moving. Queens are rewriting the second half of our story on our terms.

Conclusion: You’re Not Behind, Queen. You’re in Transition.

You’re not too old. You’re not too late. You’re not stuck. You’re evolving.

Every obstacle is part of your obstacle course. Every step is part of your Journey of the Underdog Making Progress. And every time you choose yourself—even when you feel messy, overwhelmed, or unsure—you are reinventing your life in real time.

You’re not falling apart. You’re reassembling into who you were always meant to be.

Your J.U.M.P. has already begun.

✨ Reflective Psychological CTA

Queen… what feeling have you been avoiding naming?The one sitting in your chest.The one you keep covering with “I’m fine.”

Drop it below. Your reinvention starts with your truth.

CTA: Your Next Step, Queen

Be sure to check out Jumping The Rope: Move Yourself and Manifest Your Success by Bernadette Henry. You’ll learn proven strategies to redesign your life and build the future you’ve been dreaming of.

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Your mess is your message. Your struggle is your strength. Your reinvention?Already in motion.

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