Wednesday Waffle Formal 11/13/25: Two Things Can Be True — Navigating Midlife, Change & Reinvention
Updated: 2 days ago
The Vibe: I Feel This Way AND I’m Still Here
This week feels emotionally complicated.
Not necessarily bad. Not necessarily good. Definitely not “fine.”
I’m carrying disappointment, uncertainty, grief around change, pressure from school, financial responsibilities, questions about my career, family realities, and feelings about the holidays. At the same time, I’m also excited about new opportunities, curious about what’s coming next, setting boundaries, making plans, and continuing to show up.
The biggest theme I hear in myself is:
Two things can be true at the same time.
I can be struggling emotionally and functioning.
I can be disappointed and hopeful.
I can grieve something ending and be excited about what its ending might create.
I can need money and decide a job isn't worth sacrificing my entire life for.
I can wish my family life looked different and intentionally create holiday experiences that still bring me joy.
Maybe the goal isn't to figure out one perfect word for how I feel.
Maybe I'm learning to make room for the AND.
Top Wins
🧠 I’m Getting Better at Naming What I Actually Feel
Morning Meeting is challenging something in me.
“Good” and “fine” aren't feelings, but I'm realizing something even deeper: a feeling isn't a complete description of me either.
If I say I'm sad, overwhelmed, disappointed, frustrated, or anxious, that doesn't automatically mean I'm incapable of supporting someone else.
My emotional state deserves acknowledgment without becoming my entire identity.
That's a significant distinction.
💼 I Experienced a Major Professional Change Without Immediately Making It About Failure
Something difficult and unexpected happened at work involving someone I had known and worked alongside for a long time.
It affected me personally, professionally, and academically.
My mind immediately traveled to:
I'm not going to pass. I'm not graduating. I'm going to have to wait another year.
But then support showed up.
The professional development team helped communicate with my school. Things began getting sorted out. A new field supervisor was assigned.
And now I'm actually feeling some excitement about what this new chapter could teach me.
That's resilience in real time.
🚧 I’m Setting Better Boundaries Around Work
The second per diem case might not be a good fit.
And instead of automatically saying:
“Well, I committed, so now I have to suffer through it,”
I'm giving it a chance while recognizing that I can request another case if necessary.
More importantly, I already said no to coming home late four weekdays every week.
That's growth.
Stacking coins matters.
So does protecting my life.
🎓 I’m Still Moving Toward Graduation
I feel behind.
There's been disruption.
My supervision situation changed.
Life has been LIFE-ing.
But I'm still enrolled. I'm still doing the internship. I'm still showing up for class. I'm still figuring out how to get everything completed.
Feeling behind and being defeated aren't the same thing.
👑 I’m Exploring What Comes Next
There are projects, meetings, and opportunities happening in the background.
What stands out isn't simply that opportunities exist.
I'm starting to evaluate them based on:
Does this fit my life, goals, and dreams?
That's different from grabbing everything simply because I can do it.
Growth Edge: I Don't Have to Prove My Strength by Being Available to Everyone
My Morning Meeting reflection deserves a little pushback.
I understand why I resist the idea that someone shouldn't lean on me simply because I'm having a difficult day.
I've spent years showing up regardless of how I feel.
That's one of my strengths.
But there is another side.
Just because I can support someone while I'm struggling doesn't always mean I should.
Sometimes telling someone, “I'm not the person who can hold this today” isn't weakness.
That's emotional intelligence too.
My next level may not be proving that my feelings don't affect my functioning.
It may be learning when they should affect my availability.
What I May Be Missing About Myself
I’m Not Just Experiencing Change. I’m Learning to Negotiate With It.
Old me might have simply absorbed the difficult per diem schedule.
Current me said: weekdays don't work.
Something unexpected happened professionally.
My first thought was catastrophe, but I accepted help and adjusted.
The holidays don't feel the way I wish they did.
Instead of sitting inside the disappointment, I'm thinking about the parade, Rockefeller Center, NYC experiences, and getting the kids out of the house.
That's agency.
I'm increasingly asking:
“Given the reality I actually have, what can I create?”
That's a major part of reinvention.
I Might Be Grieving More Than One Thing
There is obvious disappointment around the holidays and family.
But this entry also contains several endings and transitions:
My son's football season ended.
My internship supervision changed.
A meaningful professional relationship changed unexpectedly.
I'm moving closer to graduation.
I'm questioning whether certain jobs fit anymore.
I'm considering new projects and possibilities.
Sometimes what I call “a lot going on” may actually be grief associated with transition.
Not all grief involves death.
Sometimes I'm grieving versions of life that are ending while simultaneously preparing for what's next.
My Catastrophic Thoughts Don't Control Me Like They Once Might Have
When the work situation affected internship, my brain went straight down the road:
I'm not passing → I'm not graduating → I'm losing a year.
That's important to notice.
But something else is even more important:
I didn't stay there.
The situation got addressed.
Support came in.
A solution emerged.
That's evidence I can use the next time my mind jumps ten chapters ahead.
I'm Learning to Create Joy Instead of Waiting for the Right Conditions
This may be the biggest insight from the holiday portion.
My family circumstances aren't matching the picture I have in my head of what Thanksgiving and Christmas “should” feel like.
That's painful.
But I'm not powerless.
Parade.
Rockefeller Center.
Walking around NYC.
Experiences with the kids.
Getting out of the house.
I'm not pretending the disappointment doesn't exist.
I'm building something alongside it.
Suggestions for Improvement
Occasionally, challenge the “I can still function” narrative. Instead of only asking whether I can continue functioning, I need to ask what I actually need. “Can I?” and “Should I?” are different questions.
Create a graduation recovery plan instead of repeatedly telling myself I'll “get it together.” I need to identify exactly what's behind, what's urgent, what can wait, and who can help. Specificity will probably reduce some of the anxiety.
Give new opportunities a filter. Before accepting another project, job, case, or responsibility, I can ask: Does this move me toward my next chapter? Does it fit my actual schedule? Is the financial/professional return worth the energy? What will I have to give up to make room for it?
Plan for the holidays emotionally—not just logistically. I'm already anticipating that this season can be difficult. Creating meaningful experiences beforehand is a strength. I also need permission to feel whatever comes up rather than requiring myself to “attack” the holidays successfully.
Quote to Remember
“I feel this way, but…”
Not because I need to erase whatever comes before the but.
But because my feelings and my capabilities can coexist.
Maybe an even healthier version is:
“I feel this way, AND…”
I feel disappointed, AND I'm hopeful.I feel overwhelmed, AND I'm figuring things out.I feel sad, AND I can experience joy.I feel uncertain, AND I'm moving forward.
Content Sparks
1. “I Feel This Way, AND I’m Still Showing Up”
A conversation about emotional wellness, functioning, and why difficult feelings don't automatically mean I'm incapable.
2. “Stop Calling Everything ‘Fine’: Learning to Name My Feelings in Grad School”
Use Morning Meeting as the entry point into emotional intelligence and the importance of expanding emotional vocabulary.
3. “High-Functioning Doesn't Mean I Don't Need Support”
The counterpoint to this week's biggest realization. This could be especially powerful for midlife women accustomed to carrying everybody.
4. “When My Brain Turned One Problem Into ‘I'm Never Graduating’”
A relatable piece about catastrophizing, anxiety, and learning to separate the current problem from the imaginary ending.
5. “Stack Your Coins, But Protect Your Peace”
A midlife career conversation about side jobs, financial responsibilities, boundaries, and knowing when an opportunity costs too much.
6. “When the Holidays Don't Look Like the Family You Imagined”
A deeper piece about holiday expectations, disappointment, creating new traditions, and intentionally finding joy.
7. “Maybe I'm Not Falling Apart—Maybe I'm in Transition”
Explore the grief hidden inside career changes, children growing up, school transitions, changing relationships, and reinvention.
8. “Two Things Can Be True: The Psychology of the AND”
This could become a larger J.U.M.P. concept: replacing either/or thinking with psychological flexibility.
Mantra for Next Week
I can honor what I feel without allowing one feeling to write the entire story. I can feel this way AND still choose what comes next.
🎤 J.U.M.P. Mic Drop
Maybe progress isn't waking up every morning feeling motivated, grateful, healed, and
ready to conquer the world.
Sometimes I wake up disappointed.
Sometimes I'm overwhelmed.
Sometimes something changes that I didn't ask to change.
Sometimes my family doesn't look like the picture I imagined.
Sometimes I need the money and need the boundary.
Sometimes I'm excited about what's coming next and grieving what I'm leaving behind.
And I'm finally realizing:
I don't have to choose one truth.
I can hold both handles.
One handle can hold everything I'm feeling.
The other can hold everything I'm becoming.
And I can keep turning the rope anyway.
That's J.U.M.P.
Journey of the Underdog Making Progress.
Because progress doesn't require me to feel good every day.
It requires me to keep making room for myself in the story—even on the days when I'm not “fine.” 🪢👑
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