Many of us carry deep-seated dreams that we may not fully recognize until later. These dreams often stem from our good and bad life experiences and reflect our true desires and aspirations. Becoming a therapist was one such dream—a goal rooted in my journey of self-discovery, healing, and growth. This blog is dedicated to women in their 40s working and raising children under 18 and looking to reinvent their lives despite the fear of the blockers that hold them back.
A Dream Long Overdue
Throughout my life, I have had several career aspirations that I thought would bring me fulfillment—being a queen, teacher, librarian, and social worker. However, the idea of becoming a therapist didn't emerge until much later. In my 20s, I navigated life with all its ups and downs, made mistakes, and learned hard lessons. During those challenging years, I wrote in my journal that when I got my life together, I would help other women. Little did I know that this simple statement would evolve into a deep calling that would guide my professional journey.
In this blog, I will share how my life experiences shaped my decision to become a therapist, the challenges I faced, and how I overcame them. By sharing my story, I aim to inspire other women to pursue their dreams, regardless of obstacles.
The Seeds of a Lifelong Dream
As a child, I was always a natural helper. I found joy in assisting others, whether offering a listening ear or helping friends navigate their problems. However, the idea of becoming a therapist wasn't something I considered seriously until much later in life. In my early 20s, I was focused on other goals and aspirations. I wanted to be a teacher, a librarian, or a hospital social worker. These professions involved helping others, but they all felt different.
My 20s were a tumultuous time. I experienced personal and professional challenges that forced me to confront my limitations and weaknesses. During this time, I went through what I now refer to as "life lifin'." I made decisions I later regretted, faced numerous setbacks, and struggled to find my path. But even amid all this chaos, I believed I would eventually get my life together and use my experiences to help others.
One of the pivotal moments in my journey occurred when I started going to therapy myself. I had reached a point where I could no longer ignore the impact of my past experiences on my present behavior. Therapy opened my eyes to the deep-seated traumas that had shaped my life and allowed me to begin the healing process. It was during this time that I realized the profound impact that therapy could have, not just on me but on others as well.
Overcoming Blockers: The Challenges of Reinvention
Reinventing oneself in midlife is challenging, especially for women juggling work, family, and personal responsibilities. The fear of failure, the fear of the unknown, and the fear of not being "good enough" are common blockers that can prevent us from pursuing our dreams. These fears are often compounded by the societal expectations placed on women, particularly those in their 40s who are still raising children.
The decision to pursue a career in therapy came with its challenges. I had worked as a case manager in mental health for over 20 years, but I wanted to do more. I wanted to help people in a more meaningful way, to provide them with the tools and support they needed to heal and grow. However, the idea of returning to school, taking on new responsibilities, and changing careers in my 40s was intimidating.
One of the biggest blockers I faced was the fear of failure. I worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the academic demands of a graduate program or that I couldn't balance my studies with my other responsibilities. But I also knew that if I didn't take this step, I would always wonder, "What if?"
To overcome these fears, I had to shift my mindset. I had to remind myself that I had already overcome so much and could achieve anything I wanted. I also had to be patient with myself, recognizing that reinvention is a process that takes time and effort.
The Importance of Support and Self-Care
One of the most important lessons I learned on my journey to becoming a therapist is the importance of support and self-care. When we are working to reinvent ourselves, it is essential to have a strong support system in place. This support came from my family, friends, and mentors, who encouraged me to pursue my dreams, even when I doubted myself.
I also committed to prioritizing self-care. As women, we are often so focused on caring for others that we neglect our needs. But if we are going to be successful in reinventing ourselves, we must make time for self-care. This means setting aside time for activities that bring us joy and fulfillment, whether exercising, meditation, or simply spending time with loved ones.
The Role of Therapy in My Journey
Therapy played a crucial role in my journey to becoming a therapist. Through therapy, I was able to confront the traumas of my past and begin the healing process. I also learned valuable coping skills that helped me navigate the challenges of midlife reinvention.
One of the most significant insights I gained from therapy was the realization that my past experiences, no matter how painful, had shaped me into the person I am today. Instead of viewing these experiences as failures, I began to see them as opportunities for growth and learning. This shift in perspective was transformative, giving me the strength and confidence to pursue my dream of becoming a therapist.
Research supports therapy's benefits. According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, therapy can significantly improve mental health outcomes, particularly for individuals who have experienced trauma (Smith et al., 2018). Another study published in the Journal of Counseling Psychology found that therapy can help individuals develop resilience and improve their overall well-being (Johnson & Thompson, 2020).
J.U.M.P.: A Philosophy for Reinvention
Reflecting on my journey, I realize that it aligns closely with the philosophy I developed, J.U.M.P. (Journey of the Underdog Making Progress). This philosophy is about embracing the challenges and obstacles that come our way and using them as stepping stones to achieve our goals.
J.U.M.P. is not just about linearly making progress; it's about recognizing that setbacks are a natural part of the journey and that they can provide valuable lessons. It's about persevering even when the road is tough and finding the strength to keep going, no matter what.
For women in their 40s looking to reinvent their lives, the J.U.M.P. philosophy offers a roadmap for overcoming blockers and achieving success. It encourages us to take small, manageable steps toward our goals, to be patient with ourselves, and to celebrate our progress along the way.
Embrace Your Journey
Reinventing your life in your 40s is not easy, but it is possible. Whether you want to pursue a new career, start a business, or change your personal life, the key is to embrace the journey. Recognize that the blockers you face are not insurmountable obstacles but opportunities for growth and learning.
Remember, you are not alone. Many women in their 40s are going through similar experiences, and a support community is waiting to help you succeed. Resources can help you through therapy, support groups, or simply connecting with other women who share your goals.
As you embark on your journey of reinvention, I encourage you to keep the J.U.M.P. philosophy in mind. Take it one step at a time, be kind to yourself, and celebrate your progress. And most importantly, don't be afraid to dream big. You can create the life you want, no matter what stage of life you are in.
Call to Action
Check out my book, Jumping The Rope: Move Yourself and Manifest Your Success. In it, you will learn proven strategies to redesign your life and construct the dream that you envision. My story will empower you to persevere beyond your current reality and explore the purpose-filled life you have been dreaming of.
References
Smith, L. A., & Brown, M. E. (2018). The impact of therapy on mental health outcomes for trauma survivors. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 74(2), 215-228.
Johnson, T. R., & Thompson, H. A. (2020). Developing resilience through counseling: A longitudinal study. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 67(4), 359-372.
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